Lie With Me
by carissima
Summary: I want to get to know you again, Em. Here's Sean's chance. Set after The Bitterest Pill.


Waking up in a cold sweat for the third time that week, Emma tried to control her breathing before she woke Manny, unlikely as that seemed. Her roommate was currently alternating between snoring and mumbling under her breath. It took a few minutes, but she eventually calmed down enough to throw the clammy sheets off her body and climb quietly out of bed, before padding softly towards the mirror over her dresser. Sighing as she brushed her damp hair away from her face, she cursed her pale complexion and the darkening circles around her eyes.

A glance at her alarm clock told her that it was past three am. With a silent groan, Emma slipped on her sneakers, grabbed a jacket and her bag and slipped out of the basement window, closing it softly behind her. As she shrugged on her jacket, she resisted the urge to worry about anyone seeing her in her pink pyjama bottoms and figured that her neighbours had probably seen her in her pyjamas in the middle of the night enough times over the years.

At least this time she didn't have a crazy perm and she didn't have life-changing news to tell anyone. No, this time her hair was perfectly straight, if a little dishevelled, and her mom wasn't pregnant. As far as she was aware.

Rounding the corner, she ran the last few yards and knocked lightly on the door. Hearing nothing, she rolled her eyes good naturedly as she knocked louder. Her lips curved into a smile when she heard a crash, followed by some muffled curses.

He finally opened the door, looking ridiculously adorable as he rubbed his eyes that she felt her heart flip. Through the hair that was flopping down over his eyes, he took one look at his visitor and opened the door wider. She stepped inside and headed straight for the bedroom, taking off her jacket and kicking off her sneakers by the bed before slipping under the rumpled bedcovers. Sean joined her a few seconds later, pulling her cold body towards him and curling his body around hers. As his soft snores filled the small room a few moments later, Emma interlaced her fingers with his and closed her eyes, safe in the circle of his arms.

* * *

"Time to wake up, sleepyhead."

Emma opened her eyes at the quietly spoken words, finding Sean smiling at her.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

"Hey," he echoed. "Want breakfast?"

She nodded, relieved that he wasn't grilling her over her unexpected arrival.

"I'll be right back," he told her, dropping a kiss on her forehead before climbing off the bed and padding out of the room.

She had to admit, there was definitely something to be said to waking up to your gorgeous boyfriend in the morning, and having him bring you breakfast in bed. She just hoped he had something other than the left over pizza from last night that they'd shared while watching some guy movie that had been Sean's choice. She'd spent most of the movie knitting her mom's birthday present, a cute blue scarf with a white trim, while Sean had kept a careful eye on her progress. Every time she'd put the needles down, he'd unobtrusively caught one of her hands in his and pulled her close to him. He had a way of looking after her without being accusatory or obvious, and she adored him for it. It wasn't hard for her to realise what Ellie had seen in Sean. Apart from the obvious, of course. She'd heard the rumors about Ellie's way of dealing with grief, and she could see the similarities between them herself so clearly.

"Stop it."

Sean's words broke through her reverie, and she stared blankly at him, standing in the doorway, carrying a plate piled with toast in one hand and two steaming mugs of coffee in the other.

"Stop what?" she asked, reaching out to take the plate from him so he could set down the mugs.

"Thinking. You had that look in your eyes," he said, sitting on the bed behind her and wrapping his arms around her to sneak a piece of toast from the plate.

"I was just thinking about Ellie," Emma sighed.

Sean's eyebrows rose. "Why?"

"About how similar we are. Or were," she frowned. "Or, how similar I am now to how she was when you were dating."

"Em," Sean began, his voice low and warning.

"No, I mean … I don't know what I mean," she said, attempting a laugh and failing miserably as it came out more like a hiccup. "It's just, she hurt herself when she was in pain, and you helped her stop doing it. And now you're helping me."

"Are you hurting, Em?" Sean asked, turning her around on the bed until she was facing him.

"I'm always hurting," she said softly. Reaching up to trace his cheek, she bit her lip. "Aren't you?"

"Not as much, these days," he said honestly.

Emma offered him a little smile before reaching for her coffee and cupping her hands around its warmth, taking a sip and letting the liquid warm her.

"Emma …" Sean started, but Emma didn't let him finish.

"Not right now, Sean, please," she pleaded.

"Okay," he sighed.

"So what do you want to do today?" she asked, forcing a cheerfulness into her voice.

Sean stole a look at the bed.

"Not that!" Emma laughed as she reached out a long leg and kicked him.

He sighed dramatically, hiding his smile as he took her cup from her and pulled her towards him so that she straddled him as he sat with his head resting against the wall.

"Are you sure? It's a huge waste of this big bed," he pointed out.

"Quite sure," she said dryly.

"I'm sure I could make you change your mind," he said suggestively before bending his head to kiss the curve of her neck, smirking as he felt her little shiver.

"We both know you could," she sighed in contentment. "But we also both know that you won't."

"You know, I used to have this wicked reputation that girls fell all over themselves to get to me," he teased.

"No you didn't," she laughed. "You're a one-woman guy, Cameron, and you always have been."

"I know," he sighed as he pulled her closer and nuzzled her hair. "You're the one who needed convincing."

"Do you blame me?" she giggled.

"You mean after I broke your heart, stole from your stepfather and turned to a life of crime, spitting at you and not talking to you for a year?" Sean teased, but she heard the slight tremor in his voice.

Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed his lips gently. "I was thinking more along the lines of you saving my life and then staying in Wasaga, leaving me to go home with your best friend and girlfriend."

"My girlfriend and my best friend," Sean echoed slowly. "And my ex-girlfriend was the only one who watched me as you left."

"I thought it was the last time I'd see you," Emma said defensively.

"And I knew that was the moment that I'd definitely be coming back to Degrassi," he confessed, brushing her hair away from her face.

"I'm kinda glad you didn't come back," Emma whispered. "I crashed and burned so hard, Sean."

He stroked her hair soothingly, but said nothing. This was the subject they'd been avoiding since he'd gotten out of jail, and they needed to talk about it. Emma needed to talk about it.

"I think I would have crashed whether you were here or not," she confessed. "I know you'd have tried to save me, and I'd have pushed you away, like I pushed Manny and my parents away."

"You were allowed to self-destruct, Emma," he said quietly. "You had a gun pointed at you."

"Jimmy didn't self-destruct though, did he?" she said roughly. "You didn't flake out the way I did. Sometimes it seemed as though everyone else had forgotten, and I was still trapped in this nightmare that I couldn't escape."

"I've never forgotten," Sean said through numb lips. "I woke up every night for a year in a cold sweat, remembering that day."

"But not anymore?" she guessed.

"Not for a while," he admitted.

"I slept like a baby after it happened," she said haltingly. "I thought I'd have nightmares, I thought I'd see Rick's face every time I closed my eyes, but I never did. It made me feel so guilty."

"But not anymore?" he echoed her.

"Not recently." Emma slid out of his embrace and picked up the mugs, grimacing at the cold coffee. "I should go rinse these out."

Sean nodded, watching as she slipped out of the room. Man, this was a thousand times harder than he thought it would be. But something was troubling Emma, something bad enough to send her over to his place at three in the morning.

If there was one thing he'd learned about how to deal with Emma over the years, it was to not push her. She'd lose her temper, he'd lose his temper and before either of them knew it, he was stealing laptops and she was giving not-so-anonymous tips to get him caught.

He'd jump in the shower and give her some time to think through whatever worrying her.

When he emerged ten minutes later, dressed and running his hand through his wet hair, she was slipping one of his shirts on. Wondering if it would be wrong to try to convince her to wear nothing but his shirt, he caught her eye and immediately looked guilty.

Maybe another time.

"I'm gonna run home and shower, okay?" She grabbed her jacket, blew him a kiss and disappeared out of the door.

"I guess I'll see you later," he muttered to an empty room.

* * *

An hour later, and he was pacing the floor. How did it take this long for her to shower and get dressed? Maybe her mom caught her sneaking back in and had …

A knock at the door broke his thoughts and he had to stop himself from running to answer it. Taking a breath, he strolled over and let her in.

"Hey gorgeous," she beamed at him, brushing his cheek as she swept into the den.

"Em, we need to talk," he blurted out. Great going, he thought to himself. Way to ease into the topic, Cameron.

"I thought we could go shopping and find some things to brighten up this place," Emma said breezily.

When Sean didn't answer, she turned around. "Sean, I don't think I'm ready for this."

"All I want you to do is talk to me," he insisted. "It's way past time."

"I had a nightmare last night," she admitted. "That's why I came over."

"I thought you said you didn't have nightmares?" Sean asked.

"I didn't. Not until … two weeks ago," Emma faltered.

"… J.T?" he speculated.

"It brought everything back," she said softly. "Since he … died, I can't stop thinking about Rick, you, that gun."

"It's understandable," he soothed, catching her hand and holding it tightly. "There are … similarities."

"Except this time the good guy died," Emma whispered as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Yeah," was all Sean could manage.

"Even my nightmares are screwed up," she said sadly. "One of my oldest and best friends has just died, and my dreams are about something that happened two years ago."

"What happens in the nightmare?" Sean asked.

"I see J.T, and he's laughing at something, but I can't see what it is. Then Rick's pointing a gun at him, and I scream. Rick turns around and points the gun at me, and it's just like it was that day. Except …"

"What?" Sean prompted her.

"Except he turns and shoots J.T, then he turns and shoots you," Emma shut her eyes. "I try to stop the blood, but it keeps coming. I can't save either of you, and you both stop breathing."

"Then you wake up," Sean finished, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly.

"I'm not over it, Sean," she cried. "I don't think I'll ever be over it."

"You're stronger than this, Em," Sean said gruffly. "Don't let it beat you."

"I don't know how to make it stop," she sobbed.

"Look at me," he said firmly, holding her head in his hands and looking into her red eyes. "I had the same nightmares, except in mine, Rick shot you. I spent a year waking up with the image of you dying every morning. It was hell, Emma."

"How did you stop it?" she asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"By reminding myself that I was still alive," he said gently. "And coming back here and making sure you were okay. Then I made plans, for the future. Plans that included you, because you are my future. That's what I had so much trouble coming to terms with, almost losing you."

"Sean," she sighed, wriggling to get closer to him. "I feel the same way."

"I'm not going anywhere, Em. You're stuck with me," he promised.

"Promise?"

"I swear," he assured her.

"What if the nightmares keep coming back?"

"You can sleep over again," Sean shrugged. "You didn't have any when you were here last night, did you?"

"Nope," she said, a happier note in her voice as she snuggled closer. "But I don't think that reasoning will work on my mom."

"Probably not," Sean said with a laugh in his voice.

"I can really come over?" she persisted. "You won't mind?"

"I guess this is as good a time as any," he said cryptically, digging in his back pocket and taking a key off his chain before handing it to her. "You can come over. Any time."

"You're giving me a key to your house?" Emma stared at the key in her hand as if it were made of gold.

"Any time, Em. Day or night," he repeated, his cheeks flushing.

"You'll regret saying that," she teased before reaching up for a kiss.

* * *

Sean found himself with an armful of skinny blonde the next morning.

"Another nightmare?" he asked huskily.

Opening her eyes, Emma smiled up at him. "No. I just wanted to use my key."


End file.
